Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we
build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and
activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in
the shaping of our basic self-esteem.
When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we
were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches,
religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our
basic self-esteem.
An adult who has healthy self-esteem was
given this gift in childhood. This could
have been done in many ways. Probably
one of the most important is being praised for accomplishments. Children who are talked to respectfully and
listened to also contributed to healthy self-esteem in adulthood. These children were hugged often and given
attention and experienced some type of success in school or sporting
activities.
On the other side of the spectrum, we have
to identify the childhood for those adults who have poor self-esteem. These children were often criticized harshly,
were yelled at or beaten, and were given little attention by those they were
closest to. They were ridiculed and even
teased as they experienced failures in their young lives. They were made to feel they had to be perfect
in order to be valued and associated failure in situations as a failure of their
whole selves.
It’s sad, isn't it? To think of a child treated that way. What’s even sadder is the effect that
treatment has on their lives as adults.
We are shaped and molded by our experiences. Do you recognize yourself?
How we feel about ourselves can
influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they are likable and
lovable (in other words people with good self-esteem) have better
relationships. They are more likely to ask for help and support from friends
and family when they need it. People who believe they can accomplish goals and
solve problems are more likely to do well in school. Having good self-esteem
allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest.
Self-esteem plays a role in
almost everything we do. People with high self-esteem do better in school and
find it easier to make friends. They tend to have better relationships with
peers and adults, feel happier, find it easier to deal with mistakes,
disappointments, and failures, and are more likely to stick with something until
they succeed. It takes some work, but it's a skill you'll have for life.
Many upcoming articles are about how to raise your
self-esteem, so we will focus on the low self-esteem that many people have
these days. You can overcome issues with
low self-esteem. It’s not as difficult
as you might think. In fact, all you
have to do is recognize, understand, and use the techniques we will give you.
One of the initial questions we feel
compelled to address is what exactly self-esteem is?, the details here.
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